“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
I used to constantly ask “Why God?” Why was the first thing on my mind when thinking about facing cancer and other trials. I used to contemplate the vast number of reasons this could be happening, but my heart could never settle on one that made sense. It was like I was in a constant prison of circling around and around the issue of why.
Finally, one day I realized that asking why would not solve the problem. Asking why would not help the situation. Asking why only frustrated me and I realized it was not showing trust in God. Even if I knew the reason for the suffering, how would that make it any better?
When I was able to let the why die I came into a new place of peace. I no longer spent wasted energy on the questions of why. I have learned to fully embrace trusting in God and not lean on my own understanding. My small human mind cannot come close to comprehending the vastness of God’s ways and plans. I see just a small picture of all that is really going on in my why’s. I am a tiny puzzle piece in the masterpiece that God is crafting together. I can either be a questioning, untrusting, whiny piece or I can trust God that He is placing me in the puzzle exactly where He needs me. I can fully rely on His infinite ways and fully trust Him to be a part of his beautiful puzzle.
There are days when the words why try to creep back into my mind. Again, I must take these thoughts captive and respond with “NO, I trust in the Lord with all of my heart and I don’t lean on my understanding.” Not asking why is a choice. Not wallowing in self-pity and pain is a choice. The best way to stay in peace is to make a decision before the attack happens that you will not let your mind go there. Be ready for the mental battle and decide today what words you will say in response to the why’s that daily try to creep in.
I may never know why disease, suffering, and pain has come to my family. You may never know why you are experiencing your current trials, but we can rest peacefully each day as we release they why and trust in the wisdom and love of our creator.